Hello glamazons, I hope you're all preparing wonderfully for the weekend. The kids are on vacation so my hands are full. I had an eventful week as a counsellor to a friend of mine who happens to be quite older than I am. I got to understand her state of agony as she'd been in a relationship which left her emotionally drained as well as financially.
I was quite amazed how it was possible for someone of her age to have fallen into such an emotional doldrum, until she made me understand that she really hadn't much knowledge about relations talk less of the of the world of men. I then decided to share with you all what I came up with so far from this interesting yet unfortunate incident.
1.Test all Spirits 1 John 4:1 - Just as the bible says, it doesn't just mean spirits, it's talking about people as well. When you meet someone for the first time, you have an idea of what you seek or want in that person. You may not notice is soon enough, but you should know. Many will ask how is this done, it's actually simple really, it's in the little questions which I must say should be very harmless, (don't go asking about another girl, or something dumb of that nature. It will only make the guy see you as insecure). It comes in little chores, deliberately misplaced items, questions on what he would do in particular situations etc. And this is something that should be constant but not noticeable. This makes the man know that he's dealing with someone who's careful and intelligent. He may not know immediately what you're playing at, but you've succeeded in giving him an insight too your level of thinking and intelligence, you also have an insight to his level of thinking and intelligence as well.
2. Never be in a hurry to spend money on or for a man - This is an issue I find that lots of we women are guilty of and I did it as well when I was in the dating game. We always want to make the man feel he's loved et al but my darlings, it actually has the opposite effect. After falling mugu (being a fool) to one guy who tried to play me then, I took the matter to his home, and I got my money kia kia (quickly). This friend of mine unfortunately fell into the same boat and we are talking thousands of Euros which we aren't sure she's ever going to get back. Oh the fragile heart of a woman 😢. Most of them actually believe that you've got money to spend, so he'll totally back down and fold his arms. For him it's an added feather to his cap, and don't try to imagine, when he begins to brag to his friends on his new acquired bank account. Possibly he could be spending the money on another sweet nana you've got no idea about. So ladies back down on the show of affection.
3. It's okay to be alone - This is a very important factor when you're thinking of dating or want to date. Take time to be alone, give yourself the required breather to be able to put things into perspective. If you don't you'll find yourself making the same mistakes you made in the previous relationship in the present. Being alone is actually a good thing as it helps you gain confidence in yourself and know the difference between B***S*** and the real deal.
4. Beware when he/she begins to ask for money - This is a very serious issue which both guys and girls should be wary of. A man shouldn't be comfortable asking a lady for money. A man should feel embarrassed and shame for asking a lady for money. RED FLAG !!!!! In the order of things a man is a provider and caretaker, so a man who isn't doing the providing and caring and leaves you to it, is just looking for a meal ticket and is a free loader. He's not a provider and will never be. So if a man is comfortable asking a you for money, then something is seriously wrong somewhere, especially at the start of a relationship, darlings take the hint RUN!!!!!!!!
5. Do not be in a hurry to have sex - Never be in a hurry to have sex in your relationships. I'm one of those people who keep saying that sex should wait till marriage and for lots of reasons which I'll be talking about in another post. You see sex is an exchange and each time you do it randomly, there's something of yourself which you leave there. Don't let sex be a defining factor of a relationship because it isn't the reason you're in the relationship. Do it when you're ready and it will come naturally to both of you.
6. Take your time - This is a very important part of a dating rule. It's important to take your time, in every area of a relationship. Patience they say is a virtue. No one can pretend for so long, nothing is hidden under the sun for too long. There was this guy who wanted to date me at onetime at the university, everything seemed to be going too smoothly but I wasn't sure and my head told me to wait. As fate would have it, I hadn't seen him in a while and I decided to look for him, and lo and behold he was with someone else and that ended the whole relationship that never begun in the first place.
7. Let a man work to have you - This is one thing I find lacking today in manyrelationships today as many fall out as quickly as they got in. Let a man work to get you, let him understand how precious you are and how worthy you are to him. I tell you when a man really wants you, everything around him will go away; side chicks and all because then he begins to see the value you have for yourself and compares it to the value he's got around him. Then he's see the difference and begin to let go of all the garbage. Take it from me it works.
8.Men who want to tell you how you should look, BEWARE!!!!! - This is a trait of control and possible abuse in someone you're going to date or even dating and the sooner you end it the better. When a man meets you for the first time, he saw what you looked like, so when he begins to tell you how you should look or how it would rub of on him the way you look, darlings begin to run. Most people think abuse is only physical, emotional abuse is suicidal. You begin to lose confidence in yourself and your identity as a person. I don't advocate for dressing half naked or naked ( that's the wrong kind of attention, but when you're decent enough and someone tries to make you another version of what he wants you to be without your express approval and opinion?? RUN !!!!
9. Don't give away TMI too quickly too soon - Secrets are good for you in a relationship you're looking to cultivate in the long term. TMI too quickly too soon will only make the person run away and stay far away from you. It's a gradual process and should be divulged when you think it's okay and the right time. Don't push things.
10. Give a man his place; Men like know you can lean on them - In the society we live today, this is a structure that I find is beginning to fade, not intentionally though, but because of the misconstrued use of the word feminism see Chimamanda's concept here and here And I would agree with her. She speaks my mind explicitly on a lot of issues, and she buttresses it so well. A man in the nature of things wants to know he can be a protector and a provider, and when's met with a woman who seems to have it all figured out, or a woman who seems to want to show that she can handle all the s*$*t around her, he feels emasculated and backs out. Men love to see the vulnerable nature of a woman, because then he knows you still need him and he is still relevant in your life. No man wants to see his woman hurt, but every man wants to know you can rely on him to be there for you and he'll be there for you whatever the risk he has to take.
And so darlings that ends it for me. Let me know what your dating should knows are and which has worked for you or would work for. Have you been there and done that like myself ?
Adios my loves,
Skirt -The Rock Fashion House
Shoes - Bocage
Choker by juliettsstyleglam
Lips Kiko cosmetics & Flomar blush palette
Sacha buttercup powder
Black opal setting powder
Marrionaud eyeshadow palette
kiko cosmetics face primer