by - 13:30:00

Very recently, I was speaking to a friend on certain issues and the issue of insecure men and dealing with insecure people came up. Just a couple of days ago someone tweeted about having someone who slashed their wrists each time they had an issue in their relationship. The question was "Should I stick around? My answer is RUN AND NEVER LOOK BACK!!!!

                             In this case what would you advise ?

Now, I think everyone has their fair share of insecurities especially women, but I have a thing about an insecure man as I believe there's an inherent danger to the female population with insecure men. (Please correct me if I'm wrong). While I think and believe that a confident man can make an insecure woman feel good about herself and make her believe in those things that she thought were wrong with her, it is much more difficult for a woman to be able to deal with an insecure man and play that role for the man. Call it living in a patriarchal society where men have gotten away with so much bullshit and still do that it's beg the question of when will there be brain reset.

Hey guys once again and welcome to this week's blog. If you follow me on instagram you would understand why I have been absent this couple of days.
Today, I want to broach the issue of how dangerous it can be dealing with an insecure man in a relationship and running far away from that situation. Yes, I said it; RUN, don't try to manage it, don't assume that you can change the situation or save that person. As a woman RUN!!!!!!

I have seen women who could be much more, command a crowd, become great leaders become unrecognisable, notice their light dimmed because they are in a relationship with an insecure partner.
An insecure man is a disaster waiting to explode on women which will inherently have very adverse effects on the society at large. Let me explain:

When a man is insecure, you as the woman becomes his problem. He has no life outside of you. Your movements remain a constant assignment for him to accomplish everyday. This can be really stifling and as women we usually tend to be more flexible in matters of the heart than most men which automatically translates to the woman trying to bow to the whims and caprices of her insecure partner.
An insecure man will constantly pressure you to do things ordinarily you would have thought twice about. eg. An insecure man would convince you why you should keep away from your friends. How your friends don't have good intentions for you and that they're jealous of you for very unseen and unforeseen reasons.

A woman who is a go getter is a threat to an insecure man. One of the things an insecure man would do to a high flying woman is to cripple her finances. All her business associates are hitting on her. She must always have to justify every relationship she has with such a man. To her detriment she may be forced to stop honouring business proposals, stop networking and become a recluse.

An insecure man is always jealous of you and your friends. There is always a comparison of your friends' lifestyle to yours. They are constantly judgemental of the simplest things even the kindest and most constructive criticisms are an issue. An insecure man is a very heavy emotional burden. Your thoughts and actions are constantly to please one person rather than living your life and living it to the fullest.

An insecure man will always monitor your movements and social activities. You aren't safe with a man who's totally insecure( in my very strong opinion) as physical, emotional and psychological abuse eventually come into play. It will eventually get there. There's no buttering the issue up. You are guilt tripped on every action or stunt that he pulls cos it's always your fault. The sad thing about it though is that overtime you begin to believe it.

And lastly, never, never, never assume or think or imagine that you can manage or save him. "Heaven helps those who help themselves" remember that saying? If he has not thought he has an issue or better still come to grips with the fact that there's a problem, how would you as a woman help. As women we carry emotional burdens for men because society has made us believe that for everything to be right with a man a woman must shoulder the responsibility . Heeellll NO!!!!!

Leave your thoughts in the comment section below. My outfit for today is this lovely red cowl neck sweater + asymmetrical skirt which is making quite a round at the Paris Fashion Week this Fall. For footwear are these beautiful pair of calf length boots by Pilar Abril & animal print red bag.

So on this note, do leave some pixie dust before you go and I'll surely find you.

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  1. First of all I want to compliment you for looking fabulous, the outfit is amazing and the make-up is gorgeous too. As for the topic of your post, I understand your point of view, it is unpleasant to deal with an insecure man but I believe men and women should behave and be treated equally. Social standards labeled woman as fragile, therefore beeing insicure is more acceptable for women and men as stronger therefore not acceptable as insicure. In the end we agree that the social standards are bad and every person should be seen individually, no regards to gender.

    1. I totally agree with you babe. The reason I highlighted on the women is because, we are mostly the victims of these issues. Yes there are women who are insecure, but remember I highlighted that we live in a patriarchal society so we as women are more victims than anything else. I've seen one too many. Thanks for visiting 😘😘

  2. You've made some brilliant points in this blog posy, Juliett! In particular, that we'd be a fool to ever think we could change or save a man. Wise words, very very wise words! On a different note, you look lovely as always and I love your flawless makeup!! x